My Black Abyss

You look at me, I look at you.
We see each other, but what do we do?
I put on a great smile, a grin obscures my face.
But you have no idea how far this mask is out of place.

Hopeless, whirling, spinning,
I'm so lost I'm grinning.
There's nothing you or I can do.
I am far beyond any rescue.

I spiral in my black abyss.
How can you see me and not see this?
I'm a black mirror reflecting tarnished light.
My surface so polluted it matches shadows in the night.

Objects that don't hear
lend me an ear.
Am I going mad
or am I just sad?

I don't want to hurt you again.
My revealed emotions have only caused pain.
The burden I carry is mine to bear.
I wear this smile so you don't stop and stare.

I spiral in my black abyss.
How can you see me and not see this?
I'm a black mirror reflecting tarnished light.
My surface so polluted it matches shadows in the night.

If I showed my emotions you would shirk from my face,
a disordered mess of wasted space
dedicated to overwhelming hurt.
But every little thought i will invert.

I thought I could feel but I was wrong.
We used to sing, but I lost the words to our song.
I thought I could love, but logic killed that hope.
I tried to trust and was left hanging on a rope.

I spiral in my black abyss.
How can you see me and not see this?
I'm a black mirror reflecting tarnished light.
My surface so polluted it matches shadows in the night.

Depressed, unhappy, morning, decaying
the list is unending and I'm just praying
I'll find the myself that is lost in me
out of this black hole I'll leap happily free.

But what if the new me is evil and wrong?
What if she cannot belong
in this life I'm in
will I begin again?

I spiral in my black abyss.
You will always see me but will never see this.
The black mirror in my soul reflects tarnished light.
My surface so polluted I am a shadow of the night.