I'm a Weathered Penny

I'm just a penny in the dirt.
You pick me up
'cuz a little luck cannot hurt.
And you pocket me.

Pennies can be spent on all sorts of things.
You could buy odds and ends and
trinkets and gum and maybe some cheap rings.
Worthless, plastic toys.

But I promise prove my worth.
See how pretty I shine and sparkle!
I seem to overflow with mirth,
amusing you as you flip me aimlessly.

Yet one day as my shine decays,
you give me away.
So what do I say?
The edges of my heart now fray.

We were together when you cried.
We've rolled on the ground laughing.
I felt your pain when your pet died.
I heard your secrets.

I've always been a companion by your side,
Now you toss me away.
Like a worthless penny?

But someone else will pick me up.
Someone will find out I bring luck.
They'll stoop and scrape of all my muck.
But even then I know something's wrong.

Eventually they'll give me away.
But you can only spend me so many times before I'm spent,
'till my heart is broken, my spirit in decay,
'till I'm a weathered penny, old and grey.

Leave me

Please.
Just leave me.
Alone.
You should not.
Atone.
These sins were always mine.
Own.

My Black Abyss

You look at me, I look at you.
We see each other, but what do we do?
I put on a great smile, a grin obscures my face.
But you have no idea how far this mask is out of place.

Hopeless, whirling, spinning,
I'm so lost I'm grinning.
There's nothing you or I can do.
I am far beyond any rescue.

I spiral in my black abyss.
How can you see me and not see this?
I'm a black mirror reflecting tarnished light.
My surface so polluted it matches shadows in the night.

Objects that don't hear
lend me an ear.
Am I going mad
or am I just sad?

I don't want to hurt you again.
My revealed emotions have only caused pain.
The burden I carry is mine to bear.
I wear this smile so you don't stop and stare.

I spiral in my black abyss.
How can you see me and not see this?
I'm a black mirror reflecting tarnished light.
My surface so polluted it matches shadows in the night.

If I showed my emotions you would shirk from my face,
a disordered mess of wasted space
dedicated to overwhelming hurt.
But every little thought i will invert.

I thought I could feel but I was wrong.
We used to sing, but I lost the words to our song.
I thought I could love, but logic killed that hope.
I tried to trust and was left hanging on a rope.

I spiral in my black abyss.
How can you see me and not see this?
I'm a black mirror reflecting tarnished light.
My surface so polluted it matches shadows in the night.

Depressed, unhappy, morning, decaying
the list is unending and I'm just praying
I'll find the myself that is lost in me
out of this black hole I'll leap happily free.

But what if the new me is evil and wrong?
What if she cannot belong
in this life I'm in
will I begin again?

I spiral in my black abyss.
You will always see me but will never see this.
The black mirror in my soul reflects tarnished light.
My surface so polluted I am a shadow of the night.