Song in a Poem

Why are boy's like that?
They leave and they never come back.
They steal your heart,
rip you apart,
then you become an empty sack.

Oh-
why is love like pain?
You loose over and over again.
Pain never stopping,
whirling forever.
Why do we remember when we were together?

Oh what a cruel thing this life is.
Oh why did we always disagree?
Oh why do care, when there's...
nothing there?
How can you care when your heat's not there?

Why
is
love...
Like...
This.

I'm a Weathered Penny

I'm just a penny in the dirt.
You pick me up
'cuz a little luck cannot hurt.
And you pocket me.

Pennies can be spent on all sorts of things.
You could buy odds and ends and
trinkets and gum and maybe some cheap rings.
Worthless, plastic toys.

But I promise prove my worth.
See how pretty I shine and sparkle!
I seem to overflow with mirth,
amusing you as you flip me aimlessly.

Yet one day as my shine decays,
you give me away.
So what do I say?
The edges of my heart now fray.

We were together when you cried.
We've rolled on the ground laughing.
I felt your pain when your pet died.
I heard your secrets.

I've always been a companion by your side,
Now you toss me away.
Like a worthless penny?

But someone else will pick me up.
Someone will find out I bring luck.
They'll stoop and scrape of all my muck.
But even then I know something's wrong.

Eventually they'll give me away.
But you can only spend me so many times before I'm spent,
'till my heart is broken, my spirit in decay,
'till I'm a weathered penny, old and grey.

Leave me

Please.
Just leave me.
Alone.
You should not.
Atone.
These sins were always mine.
Own.

My Black Abyss

You look at me, I look at you.
We see each other, but what do we do?
I put on a great smile, a grin obscures my face.
But you have no idea how far this mask is out of place.

Hopeless, whirling, spinning,
I'm so lost I'm grinning.
There's nothing you or I can do.
I am far beyond any rescue.

I spiral in my black abyss.
How can you see me and not see this?
I'm a black mirror reflecting tarnished light.
My surface so polluted it matches shadows in the night.

Objects that don't hear
lend me an ear.
Am I going mad
or am I just sad?

I don't want to hurt you again.
My revealed emotions have only caused pain.
The burden I carry is mine to bear.
I wear this smile so you don't stop and stare.

I spiral in my black abyss.
How can you see me and not see this?
I'm a black mirror reflecting tarnished light.
My surface so polluted it matches shadows in the night.

If I showed my emotions you would shirk from my face,
a disordered mess of wasted space
dedicated to overwhelming hurt.
But every little thought i will invert.

I thought I could feel but I was wrong.
We used to sing, but I lost the words to our song.
I thought I could love, but logic killed that hope.
I tried to trust and was left hanging on a rope.

I spiral in my black abyss.
How can you see me and not see this?
I'm a black mirror reflecting tarnished light.
My surface so polluted it matches shadows in the night.

Depressed, unhappy, morning, decaying
the list is unending and I'm just praying
I'll find the myself that is lost in me
out of this black hole I'll leap happily free.

But what if the new me is evil and wrong?
What if she cannot belong
in this life I'm in
will I begin again?

I spiral in my black abyss.
You will always see me but will never see this.
The black mirror in my soul reflects tarnished light.
My surface so polluted I am a shadow of the night.

Broken Sentence for a Broken Soul

Biting my lip as I watch and wait, time strangles me.
Robbed of my voice, it feels like my words falls on deaf ears.
Open arguments course through me like poison in my blood.
Killing my heart, my soul refuses to be moved.
Even with my life falling before my eyes I cannot move.
Nothing is all I do.

My Greatest Fear

The acrid smell of seawater stings the back of my throat
life is like that
a burning feeling of loss like a helpless little boat
confusion in a sea of change.

Old friends, new friends, happy friends, funny friends
which friends are real
friends who don't use and abuse to meet their own ends
people who will stay by your side forever?

Ten years ten friends try to stay loyal
but they chip themselves away from my heart by force
but through pretending, excuses, and arguments, they ignore our long toil
or worse stare at me with blank eyes, unmoved, uncaring.

Others leave as they give their hearts away
pairing off for "true love" they know
forgetting my loss, their eyes wander astray
I am crying without them but they ignore my unshed tears.

Ten years ten friends have tried to be together
failing now and forever
though for a while we survived even stormy weather
we are not broken and battered.

If I have made ten friends in ten years
but not one of them remains
it is no wonder I shed no tears
use to my sufferings and pains.

They talk of heartbreak and love, marriage and life
but none of life's romances are for me
their words cut deep into my empty heart like a knife
how can I find love if I cannot even choose friends?

Just being there, "loyal" just isn't right
for real, true friends
for those willing to put up a fight
life becomes worthwhile if you have something to give.

I lie in a net of hurt and hate
I unwittingly pre-ordained my future by choosing wrongly
a fate without true love or true friends is a horrible fate
and so sadder but safer I jump into the sea.

Modern Day America

Today I am a whirlwind mess
with politics, war, pollution, hate, and strife.
The poor and the weak I simply oppress,
too preoccupied with my selfish life.

My own glaring problems I push away.
But I would rather you be in this country
than any other place, on any other day.
Here all are equal, all are free.

If I protect you, will you protect me?